Check out this article on adopting a child at an older age. It is a must read!
25 Ways to Nurture Hurt Children
The coauthors of Parenting the Hurt Child offer 25 ways parents can nurture a child adopted at an older age and begin the bonding and attachment cycle.
The attachment cycle is as simple as it is profound. When it goes the way it’s supposed to, most parents simply do their job of parenting — and the child thrives. Over and over again, there is a pattern of need, arousal, gratification, and trust. Like drops of water on a tender baby plant, this constant cycle eventually makes a sturdy plant with beautiful flowers. Unfortunately, children adopted at older ages, from foster or institutional care, are not always tender plants waiting to be watered. Instead, they are often prickly cacti, with needles sharp enough to keep parents away. But even a cactus needs some water, just as a hurt child needs to experience the attachment cycle — including gratification — if he is to build trust. Read More